Section 2

Fear of Being Wrong or Perceived Poorly

          Everyone wants to be respected, it's natural. And we should. God didn't wire us to be cool with being looked poorly upon, obviously, so that we'd care to not do things that would warrant it. We know being foolish or doing something wrong, especially if repetitive, requires correction. But who feels wonderful being corrected?  There's a reason for that, which is to dissuade us from negligence and erring. So, in that regard, it's good that God wired us to prefer being respectable.

          But this particular wiring in us can occasionally be too vamped up making us overly concerned about it, sometimes so severely that we are terrified (fearful) of ever being mistaken or perceived poorly. Especially when other people are aware of our shortcomings. 

          The Lord has helped me to see that this is a spirit of pride in us. Again, there's a proper level of not wanting to err. It's important that we experience conviction! But we can confuse this conviction with our pride that fears being perceived as anything less than stellar. Or perhaps the pride is out of insecurity for having been looked down upon at different times in your life for being different or misunderstood, even if you weren't wrong.

          There are all kinds of reasons people can take on an unhealthy need to be highly esteemed or even just perceived as "normal".  Regardless of the root, though, it all boils down to pride. We become defensive of ourselves and something in our souls is in alliance with the false ideal and dependence upon never being misconstrued, misunderstood, looked down upon, or worse, wrong about something. Even if we are and especially if someone seemingly "above" you (or perceives themselves as better, superior, or greater) dares to correct you or point it out. It's a terrible to swallow when pride is involved. To the contrary, it's not so terrible when we're secure in who we are, humble, secure in God's love and view of us, and totally not dependent upon what anyone thinks of us regarding where we excel, or fail. 

          I personally used to defend or explain myself concerning everything anyone ever said to me because I was desperate to prove to both them and myself that I was not a failure.  Though my excessive passion for truth to be understood played a huge role in that, too. But the desperation for them to understand the truth as opposed to what I perceived they misunderstood was also connected to pride because their seeing what I saw meant they might also respect me more.

          Wow, we are complicated human beings, aren't we? Fortunately, we'll not have all these issues in Heaven, thank God! But for now, we do and God is showing us what to do about it.

          Do you find that you are driven to explain or overly defend yourself until you are understood or respected? Do you fear being perceived as wrong or less (intelligent, worthy, etc)? 

  •           Ask God if you have pride in this regard, to where you wrongfully depend on what others think of you. Ask Him to shed light on why this might be so that you can detach from the wound or inherent, excessive compelling to be esteemed and respected. Again, desiring respect is a normal aspect of our human wiring. It's the excessive, prideful need for it and fear of not having it that's an alignment with darkness.

         Please take the resolve that your security and identity is in Christ.  It will also help to come to grips with the fact that the world is fallen and humans are unreliable sources to count on to esteem, respect, or understand one another. God is the ONLY one that totally gets you. God is the only One guaranteed to ALWAYS understand you. And He's the ONLY one that matters.

  •           Meditate on that.

          I can't quote a scripture off the top of my head which says this, but you know it's the truth based on the whole heart of God's Word. Talk to God and repent if you have deep-seated pride. Lay down the fear of being ill-perceived or wrong. Lay it down! Spend time with God every day at the altar literally laying it back down if you find that you've picked it back up. Do not allow yourself to continue operating out of this dark kingdom policy.  Amen.